I finally got some ‘me time’
in and was about to binge watch anything Netflix when
I got ‘the call.’My best friend Irene called all panicky, but she was speaking too fast for me to keep up so I told her to hang on I needed to grab a coffee. I really wanted her to take a breath, but I figured a coffee couldn’t hurt. She said her husband Jay goes on a lot of

business trips, and he doesn’t call or Skype her as much as he used to. When he comes home, he seems to be stand-offish; this is what she told me, but whether it’s true or not I don’t know. She said he just left to get her some chocolate ice cream, and he forgot his cell at home. It was ringing off the hook, and then she

heard a series of beeps which she concluded could only be of a bunch of text messages. She resisted the temptation for a long time, but she finally picked up
the phone and looked at his messages. She said all the texts and two voice
messages were from Nicole. She had no idea who Nicole was, and she knew everyone he worked with. She

said she was getting heart palpitations and goosebumps. She couldn’t figure out why this woman was so intent on reaching Jay. She was wondering if maybe he met her while he was away on business, but she said something felt wrong to her, and she needed to find out what it was. And she did the unthinkable. She went through his phone.

Now she added guilt to the drama because she claimed she never did this before. When she asked me what I would have done, I told her flat out. If Charlie (my husband) didn’t give me permission to go through his phone, I wouldn’t do it. So I asked her what the text messages said since she already did the deed. Apparently they didn’t say much,

just “Please call A.S.A.P.” or “The offer still stands.” and “When can you leave?” To me, this wasn’t anything to be overly worried about. Then again, Jay isn’t my husband who was gone most of the time on business. If people are having an affair, they say a lot worse on texts trust me.

But, I guess if I were the suspicious wife, I’d look at those texts and put two and two together and come up with ‘I’m gonna kill him!!!’ I told her it’s not a good thing to rifle through your spouse’s private
correspondence, but I didn’t want to add to her worries, so I told her something

positive. “At least you know he didn’t make a fake ice cream run just to speak with her!”
“You’re right! If he were having an affair, he’d use any excuse to steal some moments on the phone with her!” So do we have the right to check our significant
other’s (S.O.) text or voice messages? I guess that

depends on which side of the line you’re standing on. When you go through your mate’s phone, you’re
opening up Pandora’s Box.
If your curiosity is that
uncontrollable you’ll look for trouble when maybe there’s no trouble to be had, you have problems. Let’s say you’re on a covert mission to find incriminating evidence.

You see a relatively innocent text, but because you’re thinking the worst, you
decipher it entirely differently to what the sender meant. You start getting those goosebumps, and your blood pressure rises. You confront your spouse and
triumphantly announce you know he or she is cheating. You say someone said

“loved seeing you” and it’s coming from a strange number. Your partner looks at you like he’s never met you. He asks where you saw this text and reminds you his mother got a new cell phone with a new number.

Oops.

How do you get out of that one? You went through the phone

without permission which tells your significant other there’s no trust on your side of the relationship. You dug yourself a pretty deep hole my friend, and there’s no way out of it. You see what I mean about a Pandora’s Box?

I wanted to know what the professionals say about

snooping so I consulted Google.
Abastino, a security software company who sells antivirus software and online security
services, conducted a survey of people snooping into their partner’s devices. They made a fascinating observation, saying most people are more worried about ‘big brother’ watching them, but they don’t realize it’s

the people they’re closest to who are actually snooping into their private correspondence on their electronic devices. It claims more men than women admitted to checking their partner’s smartphone in a survey with 13,132 participants. Abastino noted women who usually checktheir partner’s phone were just curious while other women

snooped because they assumed their partner was cheating on them, and they needed to get the goods on them. Interestingly, many men pry into their spouse’s cells because they’re suspicious of their new lover or longtime partner, thinking they’re
doing the dirty behind their back. In my opinion, this is because the man might be guilty of cheating and

assumes his partner must be doing the same. You’re
probably wondering how your phone can be violated so easily right? Well, your phone most likely wasn’t in the hands of a super sleuth or a professional hacker. It happened because you probably didn’t secure your device, or you gave out your password. If you write down your passwords, people

eventually find which passwords match which accounts.
My friend called me a hypocrite because I have I do go through Charlie’s devices. It’s okay though
because I set up all of his accounts on every one of his devices. I have carte blanche, and since I do have his login information, that probably takes out all the
excitement of

snooping. Why does Charlie trust me implicitly? I don’t know if he does or not, but this
happened because the man understands nothing about
cell phones or anything to do with technology. Oh, and don’t think I didn’t try to teach him to retrieve his own messages! He got through five minutes’ worth of me
explaining how to send and receive texts,

and he slid the phone back to me and got out his newspaper and ignored me. Some people are just tech-resistant. And that’s okay.

Enough about my husband and me.
You know how there’s that theory where cheaters justify their actions because they assume their S.O. is cheating too? Well,

it’s the same way with cell phone peepers – they think their partner is secretly monitoring
their phone as well, so this makes it all okay. But it doesn’t make it ok. Deception and prying don’t make a relationship better; it creates a rift between two people which is difficult to mend, and it takes away from a couple’s quality of life.

Back to my friend.

Jay came home from the
grocery with the ice cream, and they prepared banana splits together. They were feeding each other spoons of nirvana, and then his phone rang, so he answered it. Irene was basking in love, and totally forgot about the texts she was so concerned about but the moment he took the call, she broke out in a cold sweat. Her

intuition said this is not going to be good. So when his voice went down an octave, and he turned towards his head in Irene’s direction, her heart sunk and she knew this is not going to end well for her. “Noo. I didn’t hear any alerts on my phone, I had no idea you had called, and my wife didn’t mention hearing the phone ring either. I’m sorry for the

inconvenience this caused you, and I happily accept.”

Uh-oh.

Apparently Jay was looking work in their city because he missed Irene. Someone recommended him to a local business, and he went for interviews and impressed the heck out of them. They wanted him to sign a hiring

contract on the spot, but he needed to give notice to his current employer and talk to Irene about this major
decision. He was sure she would be thrilled, but he just wanted her to be part of the process, so that’s why Jay delayed telling her. He was really disappointed in her
actions and felt betrayed.

After the call from his new boss, he sat her down and said she has to stop
distrusting him. He didn’t know she thought he was cheating on her, he thought everything was good. Jay said nothing he receives on his cell is anything secret, but he would have liked it if she asked him if she could look first. Why would

he suspect his wife of snooping when she’d never done it before? He knew his traveling was getting to her, and he thought maybe some of it was his fault for not talking to her more. Needless to say, the situation was awkward. Irene was thrilled he could come home every night, but now she ruined the good news with her prying. They’re still together, but

they both learned a valuable lesson so it’s not all bad. He learned that communication is important, especially to Irene, and she learned to respect his privacy. She also learned to admit to doing anything that might not have been on the up and up, because things get worse when you double up on deceit. They’re both working on themselves and

on their relationship and using the newfound time he has at home to get to know each other again. In a way,
everything worked out pretty well for them because they’re like newlyweds – but it could have gone horribly wrong.

Bottom line?
No matter if you’re gay or straight, or if you’re married or in a booty call type of thing, getting into someone else’s business is tricky
business. So it’s up to you whether you go all Sherlock Holmes on your S.O., but
realize you cross over to the dark side when you poke your nose into someone else’s business, and

there is no turning back. They might not find out, but you know what you did, and you’ll be carrying that guilt with you for the rest of your life. And if they find out, that could mean the end of your
relationship. If you’re a
gambler and willing to take the risk just to satisfy your curiosity or prove you’re right, then go for it.

Otherwise, find something else to do when you hear his or her message alerts before you change your life forever.

Think before you snoop!