“I have to tell you something very important,” said Mike. At that very moment, the
phone rang. It was not his phone. He had already switched it off before he entered
the restaurant. It was Sarah’s.

“Go ahead. Answer it,” he said.

Sarah hesitated. “You said you wanted to tell me something

important.”

“It can wait. Take the call. It could be an emergency,” he said.
It did turn out to be an emergency call related to work and Sarah had to leave halfway
through dinner. Two years later Mike proposed to Sarah and they were married, a
year later. What was it that Mike wanted

to tell Sarah that evening at dinner? Was he going to propose to her then? If so,
did it take him two years to gather the courage to ask her, again? We’ll never know.
Has something like this happened to you? Instead of being saved by the bell, is
your life being constantly postponed because of distractions? Are you turning the
pages of romantic

stories written by others while sitting in the waiting room of your own love story?
Are you waiting for things to happen or are you willing to make them happen?

Are you avoiding someone even when you are with them?

The next time you go out to dinner at a restaurant, take a look around you. What
are most people doing? You may see a couple sitting across from one other, their
heads bowed. Each of them is engrossed in the mobile

device in their hands. What are they doing? Are they reading or replying e-mails?
Or are they updating their social networking status? You may see another couple
sitting beside each other. One of them is showing the other something on a mobile
device. What are they doing? Are they commenting on a text message, a tweet or a
post from another

friend? Is this what happens when two people meet? Do they try to find a neutral
ground, which is other people’s lives, so that they do not have to face each other?
When was the last time you gazed at your girlfriend? Do you know what color her
eyes are? Do you notice it when she has been

to the hairdresser? Do you notice when she changes her earrings? Do you even know
if she has her ears pierced? There are some things which you can never tell unless
you look closely at a person and look deep into their eyes. No amount of following
on social networking sites can replace this kind of intimacy.
We blame the media for

turning us into voyeurs and exhibitionists. The truth is we are afraid of looking
at life because we expect that it isn’t going to be the way we want it to be. There
are no revert buttons or delete options. You can delay not looking at life but you
cannot hide from it forever. You look every day into the mirror, don’t you? How
about looking into

your lover’s eyes every day, every moment that you are together? Can you do it?

The mirror doesn’t lie.

It shows you how you look, warts and all. Yet beneath that you know there is a beauty
that supports your self-esteem and confidence.

That’s why you spend so much time looking at yourself. You don’t need a Photoshop
artist to airbrush away your faults when you look at yourself in the mirror. It’s
about honesty not make-up. Do you know why Buddhist monks shave their heads? Some
say it is to avoid vanity. That may be true but it is also possible

that they shave their heads so that they can appreciate the beauty around them as
much as they can the goodness within them. Here’s a simple test to find out how
strong your love is. The next time you look into a mirror, time yourself. See how
much time you can spend looking at yourself in the mirror. Is it

a minute, five, ten or an hour? You’ll be surprised, how long you can. Now, try
spending some time looking at your lover’s face. Can you sustain your interest longer?
What are the emotions you experience? Do you find the initial fascination fading
into familiarity? Or do you find it endlessly enchanting to do

this? It could reveal a lot about not only whether you two are meant to be together
but also a lot about yourself. You’ll know whether you are spending too much time
looking at the mirror. Is your own vanity preventing you from appreciating the beauty
of your love? Everyone sees beauty in themselves. Of course, it’s

good to have self-esteem. Everyone wants to know what’s happening in other people’s
lives. It’s good to stay informed. However, it’s one thing to be self-engrossed
and another to love oneself. It’s one thing to be an exhibitionist or voyeur and
another to be well aware or even worldly wise. Find the balance.

Find your love reflected in the eyes of the person you love more than yourself.