How can you tell when someone is serious or just playing with your emotions? Can
you read another person’s mind? It’s not humanly possible. Unless you are a psychic
or an alien, reading other people’s minds is simply out of the question. Or so we
think. Well, think again. One of the best parts of being in a relationship is that
with time you can get to know your partner so

well that you can learn to read his or her mind. You may have heard of couples who
finish each other’s sentences or people who are comfortable when they are together
without saying a word to each other. They say two people know each other well when
silences don’t become uncomfortable.
When Sarah is not in the

mood, Mark doesn’t even ask because he knows. He can see it in her eyes or in the
way her brow stitches a frown. They have been together now for a few years. Earlier
Sarah was wary of Mark’s roving eyes. Now she is so confident in herself that when
she sees a beautiful woman, she directs Mark’s attention towards

the eye candy. She knows that Mark is just window shopping. It was not always so.
In the beginning of their relationship, they were always worried if the other person
is just testing the waters or whether he or she has taken the plunge. It’s normal
especially if you have been dumped, duped or had your heart broken in the past.
You worry

if the other person is toying with your feelings or if he or she is really into
you.
How can you tell? There are many tell-tale signs that make it clear that the other
person is just playing. Here are five ways to tell if someone is serious or not.

1. You should change but I don’t have to.

A relationship is a finely balanced boat. You give and you take. The moment one
side or one end of it gets heavy then it can capsize. The person you are seeing
obviously has a routine and habits but are they willing to change some of them?
Does

the person readily agree when you ask him or her to skip a game of golf or forego
a spa visit so that you can go to the movies together? Does the person make excuses
when it gets slightly inconvenient? When you are willing to rearrange your routine
for someone, you expect the other person also to do so. There is no room for double
standards

in a real relationship.

2. You are not yet ready to meet people I know.

Nobody expects to be introduced to the other person’s friends, family or colleagues
as soon as they start dating. However, if even after a few months you still

haven’t met anyone who knows or is known to the person then he or she is probably
trying to keep the relationship a secret. Are you always meeting in places where
nobody recognizes the person you are dating? Do you get the feeling that he or she
deliberately doesn’t want to be seen in the open with you? Then they

are either unsure of the relationship or they just want a short affair and are not
seeing a future with you in it.

3. You don’t have a choice.

Do you end up doing things together that the person you are dating has chosen? You
don’t mind sitting in a café or restaurant but not all the

time. You’d like to go to the beach but he or she always seems to have an excuse
not to. When you are picking a dress or a dish from a menu, does your date often
make his or her disapproval felt. It is one thing to have an opinion and agree to
disagree on somethings but it’s another thing to try to always impose their likes

and dislikes on you. Someone may be just playing with you to see how much you are
willing to submit to their desires.

4. You never know what to expect.

On the phone, when you are talking to the person, he or she comes across as warm

and is very effusive in expressing their love but when you meet in person, it’s
a different story altogether. Is the person’s behaviour inconsistent during the
time you spend together? Is he or she very enthusiastic before meeting you but after
you have met do they seem distracted or disinterested? This is especially a red
flag if someone is always

talking about taking the relationship to the next level, or very keen to get into
bed with you. If they have an agenda or purpose which is self-centred and therefore
blow hot or cold according to their convenience then they are obviously playing
a game where they want to gain the upper hand.

5. You don’t know what’s going on in their life.

You don’t get to hear about his or her work or family. When your date is answering
a phone call, they step away from you so that you don’t hear what they are saying.
When a text or email comes, the person looks guilty or hides the message. There
is

a fine line between respecting someone’s privacy and not knowing what they are up
to. Do you know what the person is doing when you are not together? If a person
you are seeing is going to great lengths to keep his or her private life separate
from the life you think you are leading together then there is

definitely something fishy going on. The person in the relationship is obviously
not concerned about how you are feeling.
Know when to quit. Relationships can’t go on in a vacuum. They need air and room
to breathe. If a person is not letting you into their life, then they are just playing
with your feelings. Sarah still

flirts even when Mark is around. Mark is amused but not worried because he knows
that they have not only laughed and played together but also weathered storms and
extended each other a helping hand when the other felt like giving up. However,
such a level of understanding and confidence in each other

comes when two people have been together for a while.
If Sarah flirted with other men when they first went out together, Mark would wrestle
with his feelings of jealousy. Soon he learnt to recognise the difference between
when Sarah was just being playful and when she was serious. When she flirted, she

could easily be distracted but she could focus her attention on him for a long time.
She was once so engrossed in listening to him talk that her coffee went cold. There
are people who are chronic commitment-evaders and there are people who are not ready
to settle down. Then there are people who take time to get warmed up and some who
are

eager in the beginning but lose interest once they get what they want, whether it
is just a short affair or a one-night stand. Personality conflicts, likes and dislikes
and issues associated with compatibilities can only be identified if two people
are willing to keep an open mind and interact with each other

for some time.
However, it is always in your best interests to cut short a relationship, if you
see any of the warning signs which tell you that the person you are dating is just
in it for fun and not really serious. Bail out before you get hurt.