Meditation is a spiritual fad. It’s not for normal people like us. If that’s what
you think , then ou are not alone.
That’s what Sarah and Mike thought as well.
Sarah came home from work early, one evening and found Mike, her husband sitting
in front of the TV. A few weeks later, they were seeing a marriage counsellor, who

told them to spend time alone, if they didn’t want to breakup. Why? They both worked
long hours and were at that stage in their careers where they felt that the time
and effort they put in now would prove decisive later. Most evenings, when they
came home from work, they ordered Chinese or Indian

and ate watching football or soap on TV. On weekends, they went out with friends.
Does this sound like your life? Then beware, you and your partner could aslo be
heading for splitsville. Do you realize what is happening here? Mike and Sarah were
avoiding spending time together even when they were together.

They’d rather watch TV than look into each other’s eyes. They’d rather have a conversation
with friends than talk with each other. The Chess-board, the Scrabble box, even
the kitchen counter and dining table were gathering dust. They never played together.
They never cooked together. They hardly did anything together.

That night when Sarah came home early, something snapped. It could have been seeing
Mike doing alone, the only thing that they now did together, watching TV. It was
perhaps that and also because that day happened to be their wedding anniversary.

Meditation is spending quality time, with your own self.

Do you love yourself? Do you feel insecure? If you answered yes, to the first and
no to the second, then you probably need to ask yourself this: do you feel comfortable
doing nothing? If your answer is still yes,

then prove it. Meditate. Most of us lead busy lives, and though we may not admit
it, it is mostly out of choice. If we say, we don’t have time for exercise or breakfast,
then we are probably watching too much TV or working too hard or partying late or
both and sleeping way too late. We spend our days soaking up

data from one kind of media or other.
Are you always in the middle of something? At the breakfast table, are you hiding
behind the newspaper? On your morning run or on your way to work, are your ears
plugged with headphones filled with rhythm or reason from a motivational speaker?
At work, are you constantly

looking over your shoulder to see if your colleague is performing better than you?
At dinner, are you trying to eavesdrop on the conversation at the neighboring table
that you miss hearing your partner telling you that she wants some space and time?

You are not living in the moment. You are not mindful

of your blessings. When feelings of empathy sprout in your heart, they wither because
you don’t nurture it. You need to spend time alone.

Seeing within helps you see your partner better.

A person with low self-esteem or someone who is

in denial of their own short-comings cannot be expected to be totally honest with
another person. And unless two people are completely honest with each other, you
cannot have the basis for an enduring relationship. Let’s examine the key benefits
of meditation and how they affect relationships. Meditation helps you handle

stress. Every relationship gets strained. When one of you is not thinking straight
it is vitally important that the other has his head on her or his shoulders. One
wrong reaction to a self-righteous act of indignation is all it takes to burn away
years of understanding. Meditation bestows equanimity on a person and prevents you

from having knee-jerk reactions, which is the nemesis of all relationships.
Meditation teaches you to be mindful. When you are doing something, if you are thinking
of something else, then you are not doing a good job. This becomes evident very
plainly in relationships. If you see two people paying more attention to their mobile

phones, you can tell that they are distracted. When you are giving your partner
your full attention, they can sense it. Then even the tiniest gesture becomes an
act of love and understanding. This is true not just with romantic relationships
but also platonic and work relationships. You will not only find that you have a

fulfilling sex life but also a rewarding work environment. Meditation makes patience
enjoyable. When you learn to sit still, counting beads to keep time, listen to your
own breathing and allow your thoughts to pass you by, then you tend to become less
judgmental and more accommodating. When you are never in a hurry to finish

something, you start enjoying the time you spend together and look forward to it
and glow in its aftermath.

Tiresome activities create shallow relationships.

To enjoy being alone with someone you first need to enjoy being alone with your
own self. You can become

not just a better person but even a better lover, through meditation. How? Meditation,
not only makes you feel calm and composed, it also enables you to be more aware
of your partner’s reactions, tune in better to their needs and thus respond in a
better and more rewarding fashion.
The benefits of meditation

extend beyond the mental and the spiritual but also include the physical, as well.
Take for instance, sex. When two people are focused only on the external, they treat
it as an act or sometimes even a chore. However when two spiritually mature people
mate, they are aware of the feelings they arouse in each other, it is then elevated

to something that is sublime and almost divine. No wonder unlike in western traditions,
in the east it is considered natural to speak and think of the spiritual and the
erotic at the same time. Meditative chanting and erotic rituals or mantra and tantra
are seen as but two sides of the same coin. Meditation isn’t hard

as you think. You don’t know how easy it can be unless you try. Of course, it isn’t
easy, in the beginning but it gets easier when you practice it regularly.
Meditation and relationships, they both need work. The more you work on it, the
better you get at it.